Grounded in God’s Love

Source: The Pilgrim Continues His Way, “The Pilgrim’s Account of the Fifth Meeting” — Author Unknown

While the Pilgrim was staying with the Greek monk from Mount Athos as he recovered from his illness, another visitor arrived.

He was described as a devout man.

But he was angry.

He had recently traveled through some Jewish settlements where he said he had been mistreated and defrauded. His anger over what had happened had grown into bitterness toward Jewish people generally.

He cursed them and even declared them unfit to live upon the earth because of what he considered their obstinacy and lack of faith.

The Greek monk stopped him.

He reminded the man that the people he was condemning were God’s creatures too.

He told him that instead of hatred, he should have compassion and pray for them.

Then the monk diagnosed something much deeper than anger.

He told the man that he hated because he was not firmly grounded in God’s love and lacked the inner stability that comes through interior prayer.

That is why you have no inner peace.

That stopped me.

What Happens When Someone Hurts Me?

It is easy for me to read this story and condemn the devout man.

But then I have to look at myself.

We all have prejudices and biases.

And when someone mistreats us, cheats us, insults us, disappoints us, or simply inconveniences us, it is very easy for our anger to spread beyond the person or situation that caused it.

Sometimes innocent people receive the anger produced by somebody else.

Unfortunately, I demonstrated that rather well in front of my children when they were growing up.

They loved McDonald’s.

We would go through the drive-up window, and if my order wasn’t ready or something went wrong, I could get angry.

I would yell at the person working at the window.

Eventually my children began dreading going to McDonald’s with me.

I don’t blame them.

The person at that window may not even have been responsible for whatever had gone wrong.

But that didn’t matter in the moment.

I was angry.

And somebody was going to hear about it.

Honey and Vinegar

My mother used to tell me:

“Honey attracts more bees than vinegar.”

I heard her.

I just didn’t understand what she was trying to teach me.

I think I do now.

And perhaps I understand something even deeper because of what the Greek monk told this devout man.

The real question isn’t simply:

How do I control my temper?

The deeper question is:

What is happening inside my heart?

The monk believed the man’s hatred revealed that he was not firmly grounded in God’s love.

That’s uncomfortable.

But I think there is truth there.

God Is Love

I grew up being taught that God is holy.

And because God is holy, I was supposed to be holy.

Somehow I heard that as:

God is perfect, so you had better become perfect too.

Perfect.

Without flaw.

Don’t make mistakes.

Don’t sin.

Don’t fail.

Try harder.

That understanding shaped me for a long time.

Then I discovered something in 1 John 4 that I had read before but had never really allowed to settle into my heart:

God is love.

It took a while, but eventually some puzzle pieces began fitting together.

If God is love, then becoming like God isn’t primarily about achieving flawless religious performance.

It means learning to love.

And that changes everything.

There Is Neither Jew nor Greek

The monk reminded his visitor of Paul’s words in Galatians 3:28:

“There is neither Jew nor Greek…”

The divisions by which we separate ourselves from one another do not determine a person’s worth before God.

That doesn’t mean mistreatment doesn’t matter.

Fraud is still wrong.

Injustice is still wrong.

Harm should still be confronted.

Boundaries can still be necessary.

But the wrongdoing of one person never gives me permission to condemn an entire people.

Nor does another person’s behavior determine how I will treat everyone else.

Jesus told us not to judge because the measure we use will also be used with us.

That is a difficult teaching.

Especially when I have been hurt.

Pray Without Ceasing

The monk connected inner peace with interior prayer.

Paul tells us to pray without ceasing.

But here again I have learned that prayer isn’t a formula.

I can recite the Lord’s Prayer and still get angry five minutes later.

I can read Scripture every morning and still say something hurtful that afternoon.

I can know theology and still treat someone badly.

I can attend church every Sunday and still carry prejudice.

Knowledge alone doesn’t transform the heart.

Religious practice alone doesn’t transform the heart.

Even prayer isn’t an incantation that magically makes me loving.

The practices open me to something deeper:

Grace.

And grace works within me.

Slowly.

Patiently.

Sometimes painfully.

Renewing the Mind

Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

Sometimes I want to answer:

Yeah, Paul. That’s easier said than done.

Transformation takes time.

At least it has for this pilgrim.

There is no three-step formula.

There is no prayer I can repeat enough times to guarantee that I will never become angry again.

There is no book I can read that will instantly remove every prejudice or bias buried inside me.

But there is grace.

There is prayer.

There is self-examination.

There is repentance.

There is listening.

There is learning.

There is getting something wrong today and, by God’s grace, responding differently tomorrow.

That is growth.

That is transformation.

That is the renewing of the mind.

I Cannot Give What I Do Not Know

This may be the biggest puzzle piece for me.

Jesus tells me to love God and love my neighbor.

But I cannot really understand how to love others until I begin to understand that I am loved.

God is love.

God loves me.

Not because I have finally become perfect.

Not because I prayed correctly.

Not because I studied enough.

Not because I managed to control my temper.

Grace comes first.

And as I become grounded in that love, something begins changing inside me.

I don’t have to prove myself.

I don’t have to defend myself constantly.

I don’t have to return every insult.

I don’t have to make another person hurt because I hurt.

I can begin giving away some of the mercy I have received.

Maybe that is what the Greek monk meant by becoming firmly grounded in God’s love.

Have Mercy on Me

And suddenly yesterday’s lesson about the Jesus Prayer becomes today’s lesson about relationships.

Yesterday the monk taught the Pilgrim about the words:

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me.

Today I see another dimension.

If I continually ask God for mercy, eventually that mercy ought to affect the way I treat another human being.

If I ask God to have mercy on me while refusing mercy to everyone else, something hasn’t reached my heart yet.

So perhaps the prayer continues:

Lord Jesus, teach me to see.
Lord Jesus, teach me to hear.
Lord Jesus Christ, teach me what to say.
Lord Jesus, teach me when to be silent.
Lord Jesus, teach me to love.

And today I would add:

Lord Jesus, when I have been hurt, keep my hurt from becoming hatred.

Because the person standing before me is also a person God loves.

And perhaps transformation begins when that truth moves from something I know in my head to something that changes my heart.

God is love.

I am loved.

Therefore, by grace, I am learning to love.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a pilgrim.

Amen.

Still walking. Still learning. Still growing in grace.