Grace Was There Before I Knew Its Name

Scripture: Philippians 1:6

“I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ.”
— Philippians 1:6

I have been slowly reading The Way of the Pilgrim. It is one of those books I don’t want to hurry through. Sometimes something I read sends me somewhere else, and I find myself stopping along the road for a while.

That happened when my reading led me to Philippians.

I didn’t get very far.

Paul wrote:

“The one who began a good work among you will bring it to completion…”

I stopped.

The one who began the work was God.

That simple thought caused me to look backward over my own pilgrimage.

I was baptized when I was five years old. I didn’t understand everything baptism meant. How could I? I was five. But I knew enough to believe that this was a step of faith I wanted to take, and I responded with the understanding I had.

When I was eight, I began reading the Bible. I didn’t understand much of what I was reading. I didn’t know anything about biblical criticism or historical context. I certainly didn’t know about the world behind the text, the world of the text, and the world in front of the text.

I was simply a little boy reading the Bible.

When I was fourteen, I had a dream in which I believed God was calling me. Once again, I responded with the understanding I had at that point in my life. I could not possibly have known where that road would lead.

Looking backward now, I see something I couldn’t see then.

Grace was already at work.

I didn’t have those words as a child. In fact, I didn’t really understand grace this way until I was in my fifties and went to seminary. Sitting in classes with Dr. Barry Bryant, I learned more deeply about something my Wesleyan tradition calls prevenient grace.

Prevenient is simply a way of saying grace that comes before.

Before I understood grace, grace was there.

Before I understood baptism, grace was there.

Before I understood the Bible, grace was there.

Before I understood what God’s call might mean, grace was there.

The theological language came much later. The grace didn’t.

That is what I began seeing when Philippians 1:6 stopped me along the road.

Paul says God began the good work.

I didn’t begin grace.

God did.

That doesn’t mean I believe God predetermined every event in my life. I don’t believe our lives are scripts already written for us or that every choice has already been made.

I think purpose describes it better.

God calls.

We respond.

Sometimes we understand what we are doing. Sometimes we don’t.

Sometimes we make good choices. Sometimes we make poor ones.

Sometimes we walk confidently down the road. Sometimes we wander around awhile.

And sometimes we don’t understand what something meant until many years later when we look back.

Perhaps that is one of the things I have learned from being on this pilgrimage for a while.

We take steps of faith with the understanding we have at the time and remain open to God’s grace as we continue to learn.

A five-year-old responds with the understanding of a five-year-old.

An eight-year-old responds with the understanding of an eight-year-old.

A fourteen-year-old responds with the understanding of a fourteen-year-old.

And many years later, an older pilgrim may look backward and discover meaning that the younger pilgrim could never have understood.

That doesn’t make those earlier steps meaningless.

Perhaps it tells us something about grace.

God meets us where we are and continues the work.

And I am still learning.

I am still discovering what my baptism means.

I am still discovering the Sacred Writings I began reading as a child.

I am still discerning what God’s call means.

I am still discovering the mystery of the Eucharist.

I am still learning about God, other people, creation, and myself.

Seminary eventually gave me words for some things I had already experienced. Life has continued teaching me.

And now an old Russian pilgrim has sent this Curious Pilgrim back to Paul, where one sentence made me stop again and look at the road behind me.

I can see grace there.

Not because I understood it at the time.

But because grace was there before I knew its name.

And according to Paul, the God who began the good work isn’t finished yet.

Neither is this pilgrim.

A Prayer for Us All

Gracious God,

Thank you for loving us before we knew how to name your love and for working in our lives before we understood what you were doing.

Help us look back over the roads we have traveled and recognize the places where grace was quietly present.

Give us patience with what we do not yet understand, courage to take the steps of faith we understand today, and humility to remain open to what you may teach us tomorrow.

Help us extend that same grace to our fellow pilgrims. Remind us that they too are learning, growing, questioning, and responding along roads we may not completely understand.

Continue the good work you have begun among us.

Keep teaching us.

Keep calling us.

Keep leading us along the way.

Amen.