Who Challenges Me?

Tuesday, August 11, 2026
Series: Mentors Who Changed Me

Who is your best friend?

What makes that person your friend?

Most of us have only a small number of people we would consider our closest friends. That number may seem small, but I believe it is probably accurate. We may know many people during our lifetime, but friendship is something deeper than simply knowing someone.

Growing up, I had a friend named Danny. He came over to play, and we did everything together. We explored the woods. We looked for hidden treasure. We built sand castles. We used our imaginations and discovered a world much larger than the one immediately around us.

Tragically, Danny died at the age of eight from a gunshot wound.

Some friends are with us for only a short time.

Others move away. We lose touch. Our lives take different paths. Then there are those people who remain part of our lives for years.

I have known Richard for twenty-five years. I have known Rick for at least ten years, and Evelyn for about that long as well. I met Pat at church. I first met Richard online and then in person. James and I greet each other every day online.

Friendships begin in all sorts of places.

What makes these people my friends?

They respond when I call. If I invite them over, they come when they can. If I need prayer, they pray. If I need an ear to hear my complaints, they listen. They share pieces of their lives with me, and I share pieces of mine with them.

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times.”

Friendship is more than having someone around when everything is going well. Friends walk with us through disappointment, grief, change, celebration, confusion, and all the ordinary days in between. Friends also challenge us. Sometimes they tell us something we would rather not hear because friendship includes honesty.

But as I think about my friends, another question challenges me:

Am I as good a friend to them as they are to me?

Do I answer when they call?

Do I listen when they need someone to hear them?

Do I pray when they ask for prayer?

Do I make time for them?

Do I tell them the truth with love?

Do I show up?

The King James Version of Proverbs 18:24 contains a familiar phrase: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.”

Maybe that is the real challenge.

We often think about friendship in terms of what we receive. Who calls me? Who listens to me? Who visits me? Who remembers me?

Perhaps we should turn those questions around.

Whom do I call?

Whom do I listen to?

Whom do I encourage?

Whom do I remember?

For whom do I show up?

Friendship is one of God’s gifts, but friendship also asks something of us. If I want someone to walk beside me on this pilgrimage, I must be willing to walk beside them.

Some friends may walk with us for only a few years. Some, like Danny, may remain in our hearts long after they are gone. Others may walk beside us for decades.

Whatever the length of the journey, perhaps the important question isn’t simply:

Who is my friend?

Maybe the better question is:

What kind of friend am I?

Pull up a chair. There is room on the porch.

The Curious Pilgrim
Reflections on faith, family, and mysterious grace.