Open Heart. Open Hands. Clear Boundaries.

Today’s Curious Pilgrim topic is “We all stand on the shoulders of someone who believed in us.”

The greatest lessons I have learned in life have not come from books or classrooms. They have come from experience. As I reflect on the people whose shoulders I stand on today, I have realized that one of the most important people who needs to believe in me is…me.

That may sound like a strange confession, but it is true.

For much of my life, I believed that being a follower of Jesus meant having an open heart and open hands. If someone was hurting, I wanted to help. If someone needed encouragement, I wanted to be there. Those are still values I cherish.

What I have learned, however, is that an open heart and open hands must also be accompanied by clear boundaries.

Sometimes it is difficult to say “no” when someone tells a story that stirs our compassion. We genuinely want to help. We feel their pain. Yet not every story is completely truthful, and not every request is made with honorable intentions. Some people, whether intentionally or unintentionally, appeal to our emotions in order to gain financial help, emotional support, or something else they want.

One of the people whose shoulders I now stand upon is the older, wiser version of myself. Through painful experiences, I have learned that I can still be kind without being naïve, generous without being exploited, and loving without surrendering healthy boundaries.

Following Jesus is much like growing from childhood into adulthood. We all experience a physical birth, but maturity does not happen overnight. Spiritually, we also have a beginning—a moment when we first respond to God’s call—but our journey of faith continues throughout our lives.

We grow through the Scriptures we read and the traditions that shape us. We grow as we think, ask questions, and seek understanding through reason. Perhaps most of all, we grow through the experiences of life. Some lessons come easily. Others are learned only through disappointment, failure, heartache, and grace.

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons we can learn is to treat others as we would want to be treated. That means living with an open heart and open hands. It also means having clear boundaries that allow us to love wisely rather than blindly. Healthy boundaries are not the opposite of love; they are one of the ways love is expressed with honesty, respect, and wisdom.

Perhaps believing in myself is not an act of pride after all. Perhaps it is trusting that God is continuing to shape me into the person He calls me to be.

As I look back over my life, I am grateful for the many people who believed in me before I believed in myself—my parents, teachers, pastors, friends, church members, and countless others who encouraged me along the way. They helped shape the person I am becoming.

Now it is my turn to live in a way that encourages others. I hope to have an open heart that welcomes people, open hands that are willing to serve, and clear boundaries that protect the life God has entrusted to me.

Perhaps that is what it means to stand on the shoulders of others. They lift us high enough to see life more clearly. Then, with God’s help, we become the shoulders on which someone else can stand.

Thank you, God, for continuing to teach me, to shape me, and to help me become a little more like Christ with every step of the journey.